Resourcing the Revolution

life lessons

Kicking Fear in the Face (and telling it to hit the road)

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fear_640Have you ever been paralyzed by fear?

Not just nervous about the outcome of something big, but really truly stuck in place, unable to move because you are so terrified?

I have to admit that I have been fortunate enough to have never experienced anything truly traumatic in my life. Yes, I’ve been scared plenty of times, but my fears tend to the mundane.

Recently, though, I have noticed that fear is starting to creep in, whispering in my ear, a specter of its sinister self. As pretty much everyone who has ever stepped out on their own can tell you, it’s scary out here. There is definitely something to be said for the security of being able to rely on someone else for the big pieces of your life – a 9-to-5 job with benefits, a high-earning spouse, insert your definition of comfort here – and there are times I find myself wishing for that security.

This year marks the first time in my life that I have been truly responsible for myself, financially and otherwise. My divorce is final, and I’m supporting myself as a freelancer. No company to lean on, no spouse to bring in extra cash flow.

And you know what? It’s freaking terrifying.

Amidst the chaos of everything I have going on, fear has been winding its cold sinewy hand around my heart, sneaking in while I haven’t been watching, waiting until I’m feeling weak and beaten down – and then it happens.

Fear sees its opportunity. Clamps down. Whispers “but how will you pay your rent next month?” and “you can’t make it on your own”.

I’ll admit it – recently, I’ve been awfully close to letting fear win. It’s easy to succumb to the desire to be stable, secure, boring.

But…

Today, I’m taking a stand. I’m kicking fear in the face. I’m telling it to get the hell out of Dodge.

Looking forward, I’m looking at fear as a signpost. If I’m scared, I must be doing something right.

When your opposition is scared of you – keep doing what you’re doing. (I think back to this summer and the Tar Sands campaign; if we weren’t making a difference, they wouldn’t have thrown us in jail. We would have walked, and they would have kept on with business as usual. As it happened, they were scared of us, and tried to break us. Funny how that backfired.)

It’s natural to be scared – our genetics mean that we have the fight or flight response programmed in. If our early ancestors didn’t respond to fear, chances were they would have been eaten by some large furry beast. Fight or flight helped keep the human population from disappearing into the abyss.

But now that we’re (mostly) past the point of having to worry about being eaten by predators, let’s take a different look at our fears.

Let’s use them as guidance, as signposts along the way.

No one has ever changed the world by letting fear get the best of them. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and get back to work. Fear be damned.

There’s a world out there that needs your mark.

Go make it.

An Alliance of Awesome (or: Peeps – they’re not just for Easter)

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peeps_640I spent the past two weekends surrounded by world-changers.

Two weekends ago, it was four 12-hour days in Washington DC with the WeArePowerShift.org leadership team.

This past weekend was three 12-to-16 hour days in Minneapolis MN with the 350.org National Leadership Summit.

I’ll admit it – I’m exhausted. I’m drowning in work, overcommitted and maybe even *thisclose* to collapsing into bed for a couple of days.

And, this might sound crazy, but I’m loving every minute of it!

What makes these weekends different? Why would I push myself this hard?

It was all about the people.

While I did reference those disgusting artificially colored marshmallowy Easter candies in the blog title, what I’m really talking about is the folks who were with me these past two weekends.

Last year, I wrote a post about surrounding yourself with people doing amazing things. This week, I’m bringing that concept back to the table, because it bears repeating.

Surround yourself with the people you admire – the people who are doing the work you want to be doing – the people who are doing the seemingly impossible – the people you want to be like someday (when you grow up) – even the people who intimidate the hell out of you.

After a while, you might just find yourself being one of those people.

It’s amazing what a little bit of outside influence can do.

Give it a try. And while you’re at it, let me know how it goes!

Uncle! (or: when enough is too much)

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too-much_640If you’re anything like me, you tend to take on new, cool and exciting projects fairly often.

One at a time, they find their way to your plate. And one by one, you find time in your life for each of them. You move something here, and squish something there.

All of a sudden, you find yourself with your arm twisted behind your back. Sometimes, you just have to admit defeat. Admit that the pain is too much, that if your arm gets twisted any further, it might just pop out of its socket.

(I had a guy as a best friend when I was little, and we used to beat the crap out of each other – fighting until the other cried “uncle!” – “enough!”)

It doesn’t hurt so much right at this moment, but then it happens: one more project drops into view, one more thing to try to squeeze into your already packed life, one more thing that’s just so awesome, so right, that you can’t turn it down.

You find yourself stuck, caught at that intersection of “ouch” and “holy-crap-you’re-breaking-my-arm”.

What do you do?

Where do you find the balance between the stuff you want to do and the stuff you have to do?

Do you push through the pain, and take on just one more thing?

Do you clear some of the other, not so perfect projects, say goodbye to them?

And, what if all the perfect projects aren’t paying your rent? Do you settle for paying the rent with crappy work, or do you scrape by on passion projects?

More than anything, it comes down to what’s right for you.

At this moment in your life, what do you want to be doing? What is your hell yes?

And, if for some reason you can’t pay your rent with your hell yes right this moment, how can you point yourself in the right direction?

That’s where I’m sitting today – and if I’m telling the truth, it’s actually where I’ve been sitting since the beginning of this year. I’d be a big, fat liar if I told you I had all the answers, had it all figured out.

Is there anyone who really does have it all figured out? I would like to think that life is all about finding our answers, finding ourselves.

If you need to find me this evening, I’ll be out there in the world, finding my answers.

Say Yes More (or: how to step outside the skin you’re in)

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say-yes_640When I was a senior in college, one of my roommates and I made a pact.

Given the post title, you might be imagining some crazy blood-brother style, spit-and-shake agreement; we were in college at that point…

Alright – enough with the crazy ideas. It wasn’t that kind of pact!

We were both newly single and tired of business as usual, and needed to break out of our respective ruts. We were both upperclass music majors, so we were up to our ears in school obligations. But, despite our otherwise full calendars, we made a decision.

For one whole month, we would both accept every social invitation we were offered.

Every. Single. One.

Now I know that you’re thinking that the two of us were nuts. There was a high likelihood that we would have some negative experiences, and there was a lot of uncertainty as to how the experiment would turn out.

(To be clear, we drew lines – this was more along the lines of saying yes to a date with a guy who wasn’t really our type. Axe murderers and homicidal maniacs need not apply. We weren’t stupid about the way we proceeded with things, and we were sure to take our safety and health into account.)

The result of our month long social experiment?

My first required “yes” was the random non-student at a party who asked for my phone number. I hoped that he wouldn’t call, but he did. We went on a date to a pizza place in town; he had a suspended license, so I had to pick him up; the date was mediocre.

There were a few more instances like this between the two of us, but we also expanded our horizons. We had experiences that we wouldn’t have otherwise.

We attended concerts that we might otherwise have skipped. We joined friends for meals that might have been passed over. We connected with people who we might never have met.

Yes, we both had a few bad dates. However, what we really took away from that month was the power of saying yes.

When we say no all the time, we close ourselves down – seal ourselves away from the world – and we never experience anything new.

While sometimes it’s nice to put on my pajamas, fix my favorite meal and re-watch a movie I’ve seen multiple times, it’s not what I want to spend my life doing.

I usually advocate only doing the things in life that are a “hell yes” – but there’s a caveat.

You might be missing out on a new “hell yes” without even realizing it, if you say no too quickly to an untested idea or experience.

Where is all this going?

My challenge for you this month:

Go out and say “yes” to more new things in your life. If you want to recreate the “month of yes”, I would encourage you to do so (mindfully), and I would love to hear about your experiences.

And, as always, feel free to share your stories with me. I would love to hear how an unexpected experience had an impact on your life!

Whoops! (or: why you shouldn’t listen to me)

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whoops_640Yup. You read that title right. You definitely shouldn’t be listening to me.

Why, you ask?

Well, would you listen to someone who screws things up? Would you take advice from someone who has made her fair share of bad decisions?

(I’m hoping that by now you kinda get the direction I’m going with this, and that you haven’t given up on me yet.)

Still here? Good. Because this part is worth sticking around for.

I have definitely made mistakes through my 30-some years on this planet. But, I make a point to learn from those mistakes, and my hope is that by sharing both the mistakes and lessons learned, you can gain something from my experience.

While this blog post isn’t long enough to cover every mistake I’ve ever made (I’d need a book for that), I do want to share a few key lessons.

1. CYA

I try to have an optimistic outlook on life, see beyond the clouds and not dwell on the craptastic parts of life.

However, no matter what your life outlook, if you’re not looking out for yourself in this world, you can sure as hell bet ain’t no one else lookin’ out for you (terrible grammar intended).

Look out for number one. Make sure that you have your needs covered before you go focusing on anyone else… because rainbows and ponies aren’t going to put a roof over your head and food on your plate, or get you where you really want to go in life.

I always secretly laughed at anyone who recommended keeping a separate bank account from your spouse once you got married. Scoffing, I thought to myself, “but my marriage is going to last forever. We’re in love, and that’s all that matters. Til death and all that jazz.”

Hmm. See anything wrong with that picture? Yeah, I thought so.

The good news in my case is that I have an incredibly awesome ex-husband, and my situation turned out okay. There are lots of people who can’t say the same.

CYA, honey. You can still have a rosy outlook on life, but it’s always good to have a plan for when things aren’t so hot.

2. Don’t assume

My mom always used to tell me, “don’t assume; it makes an ass out of you and me.” (ass = u + me). I used to roll my eyes at her when she said things like that; funny how our moms get so wise once we get older.

This one has bitten me in the ass more than once recently.

Prime example:

In Virginia, a name change is no longer included in the divorce declaration. (No matter how many times you bring it up with the attorney).

This one cost me at least a month of running back and forth to the clerk’s office, trying desperately to get my name change paperwork official, so that I could move on with my life.

Second example, same situation:

Don’t assume that when your husband hires an attorney for “both” of you, that she gives a damn about anyone but him. I found out this the hard way, when “our” attorney refused to speak with me about the case.

Again, awesome ex – things turned out fine… but. It could have been a bad situation.

3. Measure twice, cut once

My dad is a jack of all trades; he makes his living as a woodworker – cabinet and furniture maker, restores old houses, builds new ones, etc. He taught me this one, and it has always stuck with me.

That being said, I interpret it in a different way these days.

Always double check your information. And?

Read the damn instructions.

This one bit me in the ass with the DMV. It took me three trips to get my name updated on my license, and countless painful hours waiting in line and arguing with clerks before I was successful.

The reason this time? Well, I assumed (see #2) that since the Social Security Administration took my divorce decree as enough proof of a name change, that the DMV would as well.

WRONG.

Do me a favor – before you head to any government establishment to do anything, make sure that you know exactly what paperwork they require, and the steps you need to follow.

4. Finally: trust yourself

My favorite lesson of all has to be when I knew the steps I needed to take, and I listened to the Clerk of the Court who said, “no, I don’t need a copy of the decree. All I need is this form.”

Well, he *was* the clerk of the court. He must know what he’s doing, right?

WRONG.

Fast forward a month, and having to resubmit my paperwork because it was… wait for it… missing a copy of the decree. Mmmhmm.

So.

Now you know why you shouldn’t listen to me. Maybe you got a laugh out of my debacles… but what I really hope is that you have at least learned something from my mistakes.

Because if I can save you from making the same mistakes… then I’ve done something good.

One more saying, just for the heck of it: Fool me once…

Care to share in the merriment? Leave a comment with a life lesson learned below, or hit me up on twitter, Google+. I would love to learn something from you, too!

There Is Only Now (or: stop obsessing and stalling and…)

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only-now_640Two weeks ago, I talked about intention – telling the universe what you want and setting yourself up for opportunities to come. Today, I want to go one step further to make sure that we don’t get so hung up on the future and “should” that we forget to live in the now.

How many times in your life have you found yourself waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect answer, the perfect job, the perfect something (anything)… only to never find it?

If you look back on the time that you spent waiting, you will probably realize that life that sped by while you were waiting; opportunities were missed because you couldn’t give in to anything less than perfection.

We only get one go ‘round on this little blue orb, and every day that we spend waiting for perfect instead of forging ahead and making our own future is a day that we’ll never get back.

I feel lucky to have become acquainted with some awesome people over the past year, many of whom thrive on doing (supposedly) impossible things and making their lives amazing.

A close friend has a mantra that I have adopted – “there is only now” – and it is true in the very deepest sense.

Past is past, and we’re not guaranteed a tomorrow.

So, instead of sitting, waiting and watching the world pass you by, do me a favor. Go make your mark on it.

Now.