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Relaxation 101: How to Stop Worrying and Enjoy the Ride

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This time last week, I was on vacation in Sayulita, Mexico.

Sleeping in a cabana by the ocean, rising before the sun to meditate and do yoga, and spending my days with the most beautiful group of women.

By Thursday, I had fully arrived. I was relaxed. Settled in to the ebb and flow of days, the moon, and the ocean.

…

But let’s rewind a few days, to the previous Saturday.

My first full day at Haramara. The night before, I fell asleep at 8:45 pm and slept for almost 10 hours. Upon waking, I wandered up the mountain to breakfast, absorbing the sights and sounds of the jungle.

And after breakfast I grabbed a book and a beach towel and settled in at the beach.

At which point I started to twitch…

The severed connection

This is what poured forth, sitting there at the edge of the Pacific Ocean on a gorgeous morning, staring out across the waves to the horizon:

We don’t know how to relax.

It’s like we’ve forgotten.

Plunk me down by myself in the middle of paradise, and I start to physically itch because I don’t know what to do with myself.

My brain spins, my introvert self wants to go home, my inner entrepreneur wants her laptop and the internet (stat) because there’s work to be done, dammit.

We push ourselves so hard when we’re working that when we try to stop, to disconnect, it’s like a heroin addict who needs just one more hit. Just one more blog post. One more hit of device-delivered dopamine.

Then we can relax.

Then we can enjoy the moment.

Human Doing or Human Being?

There is something inherently messed up when we can sit with a view like this…

and still not be able to relax.

Yet, our society and lifestyles have engrained this response into us. We have become Human Doings instead of Human Beings.

During any moment of down time, of pause, guilt begins to creep in. We feel like there must be something else we can accomplish. Some task we can cross off our never-ending to do lists.

So what’s a human (being) to do?

Practice and all is coming

It comes down to the balance between the body’s limbic system and the neocortex.

We “do” in an effort to defend and protect ourselves (limbic). And we neglect the relaxation response that originates from the neocortex.

The root of the solution lies here: we can’t think our way through it. We have to live it, practice it.

The answers will come when we put what we think we know to the test.

We’ll be able to relax when we practice relaxing.

So back to the beach in Sayulita, a few days into the retreat. I had arrived. Enough time passed, yoga sessions moved through my body, breaths through my lungs, that I could be fully present. That I could finally relax.

Practice doesn’t make perfect. But it does bring us closer to that point in time where we have quicker access to the relaxation response.

And you are the only one who has the power to turn on your relaxation response. You can bring practices into your life that allow you to tap into the neocortex. To practice self care. To decide to be a Human Being.

You have the power.

Why I Hustle During the Holidays (It’s Not What You Think)

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Let’s get one thing straight:

I hate the word “hustle” and everything it has come to stand for.

You’re an entrepreneur? Good for you. Now give up everything else in your life and dedicate it to your business.

Personal life? Who has time for that?

Health? You’ll sleep when you’re dead.

Anything that’s not directly related to growing your business? On the back burner until you “make it” and finally have time for other things.

The problem is: this moment we have right here… it’s the only one we get. The past is past. And the future is shaped by what we do in this moment.

So sure, it’s good to work toward building the life you want. But if you spend one hundred percent of your life hustling, the rest of your life is passing you by. Minutes you never get back. Moments that you might otherwise cherish for the rest of your life gone, passed over.

So why would I write a post about why I spend the holidays – a time that should be spent with family and friends – doing something that I just claimed to hate?

Because I think there’s a way to transform our relationship to hustle.

Hustle 2.0

I went to church when I was younger, but my belief system has shifted significantly as I’ve aged. I moved away from observing traditionally religious holidays (and don’t even get me started on the commercial holidays here in the States).

So while other families are spending time around the Christmas tree or celebrating other holidays, this time of year is just another calendar month for me.

(Also, almost no one sends emails on Christmas Day. This year I think I got a grand total of 5 emails the whole day. Talk about a good day to be productive!)

Don’t get me wrong, December isn’t all hustle. I took the day to observe Winter Solstice, which is the closest to winter “holiday” that I celebrate these days. And I went caroling with a group of folks back home on Christmas Eve, because it’s become a tradition of sorts and there’s hot mulled cider to warm up after.

And while we did head over the mountains for the week to spend time with family, I brought along my laptop and a list of priorities that will keep my business moving forward as we head into 2018.

Priorities, you can haz them

While many others in the US are powered down, taking a break for the last couple weeks of the year, I’m gearing up.

I’ve got a 5-week class series (MindFULL to Mindful) that starts at the end of January, and there are still spots available.

Hustle = doing promotion that gets butts into seats.

I’m planning a retreat for the spring (not yet announced) that needs to be planned and promoted.

Hustle = getting those details squared away.

And I’m working on turning MindFULL to Mindful into a digital offering, so that it’s not limited to students within driving distance of Charlottesville.

Hustle = setting the foundation for this new offering.

So with all this holiday hustle, when do I take time away?

Holiday = going totally off grid in two weeks. Heading to Sayulita, Mexico again for a yoga retreat with one of my favorite teachers.

That week at Haramara? THAT is my holiday.

My time to relax. To recharge. To sit by the ocean and listen to the waves crash against the shore. To delve deeper into my yoga. And to step away from the hustle and evaluate the past year.

Knowing that kind of holiday is on the horizon gives me a great reason to spend the weeks leading up to it with my head down.

It’s your life, so define your terms

When I say that I’m hustling during the holidays, what I really mean is that I’m working during what someone else defines as “holiday” – and then taking my own downtime, on my own terms.

It’s not about the “hustle.”

It’s not about conforming to a schedule that’s predetermined by centuries of religious practice or large corporations.

Rather, it’s about finding the mode of living that works for you, for your family, and for your business.

Because that is the kind of hustle I can get behind.

Rebel Yogi Roundup: Volume VII

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This spring and summer have been big for Rebel Yogi.

Since the last roundup post, this happened:

And if you could see behind the scenes right now, oh the things I have up my sleeve for the fall!

But until I can spill the beans about what’s next, here’s some of your favorite shares to tide you over, curated from my reading over the past few months.

Why You Should Ditch Your Work-Life Balance

It’s the new American Dream — one day the stars will align and your life will be in perfect balance, with enough time to do everything you want and still make enough money to live comfortably. Gary and Jay at The ONE Thing remind us that while we may never attain that “perfect” balance, it’s okay to shift around and aim for what they call “counter-balance”.

Whatever you’re doing, be fully present. This is the secret of counter-balance: bringing our full attention to the effort at hand.”

The 7 Behaviors That Help Us Thrive in Chaotic Times

The folks at Steady Ground have put together a list of behaviors that will help you keep up with your worldchanging work, in a way that won’t burn you out.

When we’re in bad shape, our power is diminished — we’re less creative, more reactive, and less able to plan strategically. If we intend to stay active and effective in the world, we have a responsibility to tend to our spirits.”

The Brain Literally Starts Eating Itself When It Doesn’t Get Enough Sleep

Um… wha?! This post had me seriously reconsidering my priorities, and putting sleep back up near the top. I don’t want my brain turning into a cannibalistic zombie, and I’m sure you don’t either. Eww…

Think of it like the garbage being cleared out while you’re asleep, versus someone coming into your house after several sleepless nights and indiscriminately tossing out your television, fridge, and family dog.”

80% of Top Business Leaders Meditate

According to Tim Ferriss, the number one common thread top performers had in comparison to most other people… is that more than 80% of them were using some form of daily meditation practice to get better results in business.

I find that meditation is very very helpful for avoiding anxiety and it’s the reset button for the rest of the day… it’s basically a warm bath for your brain.”

That’s it for this round. To stay in the loop and not miss out on any of the awesomeness headed your way this fall, sign up for the Rebel Yogi mailing list (at the top of your screen or in the right sidebar) or “like” the Rebel Yogi Facebook page.

And let me know how you think the series is going — anything you’d like to see more of, less of? Or if you’ve read anything recently that should go into the next roundup, send it along!

Until next time…

3 Playful Practices to Make Life Fun Again

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Remember when summer used to be fun?

As a kid, summer loomed large as you approached the end of the school year. Three months of endless sun, long days, trips to the beach, and nonstop fun awaited.

It was the greatest time of the year. You counted down the days, waiting with barely contained excitement for the final bell to ring.

Yet somehow along the way to adulthood, you lost that joy.

Yeah, you (sometimes) take a vacation to help you unwind. But by the end of the planning, the travel, the stress, and making your way back home again… you need a vacation to recover from your vacation.

Sound familiar?

Well, I propose a shift — in the way we think, act, and set our intentions. Let’s make summer fun again.

Heck, let’s make life fun again!

It all starts with bringing a little playfulness back into your life. And what better way to start than on your yoga mat?

While yes – yoga is good for you, helps relieve stress, and all the other benefits it brings – you probably tend to turn your practice into a chore. Something you should do. Something to cross off your to do list.

Starting today, give yourself permission to let go of the “should”. To be more playful. And to make summer (and life) more fun.

Let’s look at some practices that will make your inner kid happy.

1. Hissing Breath II (Sitkari Pranayama)

Did you make animal noises when you were little? Maybe mooing like a cow. Or snorting like a piglet?

Let’s channel that inner child, and play with a breathing practice where you can hiss like a snake.

This pose is really good for helping you to cool down on hot summer days. Seriously — the air constricts around the teeth as it enters the mouth, making it feel cooler to the body.

And pretending like you’re a snake might make you feel silly — or even get a case of the giggles. If that’s the case, you’re doing it right.

How to do it:

Release your tongue back toward the top of the mouth (out of the way of your teeth). Smile big, letting the lips come apart and the teeth meet firmly.

Inhale through the teeth, which will make the “hissing” sound referenced in the name, and exhale through the nose.

Repeat 3 times, or for as long as feels comfortable.

Health note: if you ever feel dizzy or lightheaded, stop immediately and return your breath to normal.

2. Kshepana Mudra (Letting Go Gesture)

You might recognize this mudra as the hand position from Warrior I or certain variations on standing side bends. I’ve heard quite a few teachers say something like “bring your hands into temple” to describe this particular gesture.

This mudra is intended to help you let go of feelings of stress or negativity, with the ultimate goal of finding a state of pure joy.

Image credit: Liz West

Pure joy! Can’t beat that, right?

Some people even claim that using the mudra before public speaking has helped them get rid of stage fright.

How to do it:

Bring your hands together into prayer. Interlock the fingers, and then release your index fingers so they’re pointing upward.

You can hold this position at chest level, or raise your arms overhead (like in Warrior I).

You can use this mudra while sitting or standing, or incorporate it into other yoga poses.

3. Playful Practice (“Playfulasana”)

Yeah, yeah. So “playfulasana” isn’t really a thing… but maybe it should be.

I would offer that you have the opportunity – every time you step on your mat – to bring an intention to be playful. To allow the corners of your mouth to rise as you sit in meditation. To let yourself have fun instead of taking the poses so seriously.

There are so many poses derived from nature:

  • Tree pose — pretend like you’re a tree, swaying in the breeze. Rooting down through the standing leg, with your branches spreading wide.
  • Cat and cow warmup — sway your back like a cow, and maybe even chew your cud. Arch your back like a stretching cat.
  • Lion’s pose (and lion’s breath) — stick your tongue out and roar!

And other poses just waiting for you to channel the kid inside:

  • Warrior III — be superman (or woman), flying over your hometown with your cape stretched out behind you.
  • Happy baby — grab those feet and think what it would be like to be all roly-poly and experiencing everything for the first time.
  • Or grab a partner and go do some acro yoga. Or arial yoga with silks.

Whatever you do, make sure it’s fun! See if you can sit your inner critic in a corner for a while, and just let your body do what it wants.

Start with poses and things you know, and then let the exploration begin.

Before you know it, your yoga practice might even be something you look forward to, instead of yet another task to complete in your already-busy day.

Go ahead… Play!

It’s summer. The time of the year when the temperature gets hot and the days can be lazy and long.

How can you make the most of what’s left of July and August? How can you bring more fun back into your life?

And how do you play in your life or your work — do you make separate time, or do you try to integrate both at the same time? Let me know in the comments!

Innovation 101: How to Stop Getting Stuck in Your Head

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How often do you run into a brick wall as you follow the thread of an idea?

Get a spark and have it immediately snuffed out when your brain steps in to list all the reasons the idea won’t work?

Or otherwise feel like you’re failing as an entrepreneur because all your best ideas seem to be hiding behind a thick membrane you can’t quite get through?

And how often does everyone else respond, “Oh, you just need to get out of your head.”

Step away. Take a deep breath. Give yourself some space.

Disconnect…

But when you try to switch off and unplug, nothing really changes. You come back to the same place, with the same issues and frustrations. And you feel like the time away was wasted. You might as well have stayed and tried to power through.

It may sound totally counterintuitive, but what if I told you that you need to reconnect, before you can disconnect?

Get in to get out

It’s kind of like the old meme featuring a Golden Retriever. You probably remember the one — “Let me in. I need to go back out again.”

You need to get back into your body, to reconnect with your muscles and joints. To embody the physical vessel your brain resides in, so that you can start to tap into the full power of your mind.

As a constantly-connected always-on and hustling entrepreneur, chances are that you’ve stepped so far outside your body (and away from your mind) that you need to find your way back in.

Before you can disconnect and give yourself space to innovate in a meaningful way.

Understand the rules before you break them

Your body (and by connection, your mind) is a self-limiting device.

Lack of sleep, poor nutrition, stagnation — these can all cause your body to perform poorly. And the usual response to issues that arise might be to medicate them away, or to ignore them. To power through.

And when you disconnect in this way, it shorts out the bond to your internal wisdom.

When you isolate yourself from your self, that’s when you start to run up against the limits of your mind. You lose the ability to innovate. To make outside-the-box neural connections and see the answers that are hiding just on the other side of the membrane.

In the same way that you need to have an understanding of the rules of a system before you can start to manipulate it, you need to reconnect to the body in a meaningful way before you can step away and get the type of brain-space you need to access true innovation.

Gain behind-the-scenes access to your potential

That’s where practices like yoga and other mindfulness tools come in.

You give yourself a chance to reconnect with your body — so that you can disconnect in a meaningful way. You get up close and personal with the physical vessel so you can understand how and where it might be holding you back. And from a place of deep connection, you gain the space you need to break through.

This is one of the key tenants of the Yoga of Innovation, a 5-week series that I run here in Charlottesville. This idea of reconnection with the body is the focus for the first week, setting a foundation for the practices that came in later weeks — the practices that allow us to tap into a limitless part of the brain, where innovation becomes as instinctive as breathing.

If you’ve been feeling a bit stuck, or just want to learn some practices that will help you break through the barriers that hold your business back, stay tuned for the next class series.

3 Powerful Practices to Help You Clean & Detox Your Body

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Spring cleaning: it’s not just for houses.

I don’t know about you, but when spring rolls around I often feel all kinds of clogged up and sticky from my winter hibernation. This feeling usually means there’s a bunch of junk stored up in my body that needs to get the heck out!

If you feel sluggish or tired all the time, spring may be a good time to consider some internal cleansing — and what better time than when the weather is starting to warm up and your natural tendency is to get more active!

While you may be aware that you can detox through what you eat and drink, did you know you can also help your body to naturally detoxify through breath and movement?

Let’s take a look at three potent practices that will help you support your body’s natural detoxification processes.

1. Kapalabhati (Skull Shining Breath)

Unlike some of the gentle breathing practices we’ve covered in this 3 Practices series, Kapalabhati is pretty intense. It really gets the oxygen flowing through your veins, stimulates the digestive organs, and can even help clear up sinus congestion. (Keep some tissues handy when you’re doing this one.)

Image credit: Andy Mudrak

How to do it:

Kapalabhati is rapid abdominal breathing. The exhalation is forceful, and the inhale that follows is automatic.

It may be helpful to place your right hand on your lower abdomen, so you can feel the muscles contract in toward the spine.

Step 1: Sit up comfortably, with a long neutral spine. To exhale, snap in (aka quickly contract) the abdomen. This will push air out through the nostrils.

Step 2: Relax the abdomen, and allow the inhalation to occur naturally. (You won’t have to actively draw breath back in to the lungs.)

Step 3: Continue this pattern of forceful contraction of the abdomen and relaxation for a total of 10 breaths. Aim for one exhalation per second if you’re new to this pranayama practice.

Step 4: Exhale completely, pulling the abdomen in. Then inhale a full, 3-part breath.

Step 5: Return the breath to a normal pattern, and observe how you feel. Can you sense the extra oxygen starting to circulate through your system? You may feel slightly tingly or more alert.

Step 6 [optional]: You may want to repeat this cycle two more times, for a total of 3 cycles of 10 breaths each. Start with short sessions, and work your way up as you get more comfortable with the practice.

By pulling lots of oxygen-rich air into your lungs, you end up circulating extra oxygen into the blood stream. And all that oxygen helps your body not only efficiently absorb vitamins, but also boosts white blood cell production.

You can find more info here.

Health note: if you ever feel dizzy or lightheaded, stop immediately and return your breath to normal. And you may want to be especially careful to give yourself enough time after you eat to do this one — intense contractions of the lower abdominal muscles plus a full stomach may equal disaster. Just sayin’…

2. Karana Mudra (Instrument Gesture)

In Sanskrit, karana means “instrument” — not like a guitar or saxophone, but rather a tool that we use to help us complete a particular action. In this case, the mudra itself is an instrument that we can use to help purify the physical body.

In plain English, it helps us to detoxify by strengthening both the urinary and kidney energy lines in the body.

Image credit: Giles Colborne

This particular mudra reminds me of the “rock on” gesture, and a little bit of that heavy metal intensity could be called for, depending on how much crap you feel like you need to clear out.

How to do it:

You can practice this mudra any way that’s comfortable — sitting, standing, laying down. This mudra is practiced with only the right hand, so keep your left hand gently unengaged somewhere that’s comfortable.

Bend the middle and ring fingers of your right hand down toward your palm, and press down on both fingernails with the pad of your right thumb. Allow the index and pinky fingers to remain extended, and slightly relaxed. Hold this gesture for as long as feels comfortable.

For more information, take a look at this mudra in the book Mudras for Modern Life.

3. Ardha Matsyendrasana (Half Spinal Twist)

Twists are one of the best ways to detoxify the body. By bringing gentle compression to the internal organs, you begin to squeeze out old blood and lymph — and when you release the twist, the resulting flow of freshly oxygenated blood back into the cells flushes out anything that’s been loosened up.

Your lymphatic system is one of the main drainage systems that helps your body get rid of all the stuff it doesn’t want anymore — dead cells, unused nutrients and plasma, and toxins. And most of our circulatory systems come with a built-in pump. The heart circulates blood, the lungs circulate oxygen, the digestive system pushes food through…

But the lymphatic system doesn’t have a pump. It relies on you to keep the lymph moving through. That’s where practices like dry brushing, deep breathing, and legs up the wall come in — as well as bendy, twisty yoga poses.

While any twists that you might take will be beneficial, Ardha Matsyendrasana is particularly good for you because it also brings compression into the lymph nodes that are located in the area at the front of the hips.

How to do it:

Find a comfortable seated posture with your legs stretched out in front of you. It can be helpful to sit up on the edge of a blanket, especially if you have tight hips or hamstrings.

Image credit: Calliope

Draw your right knee in toward your chest, with the sole of the foot on the floor next to your outstretched left leg. Then step the right foot across your left leg.

Either take hold of the base of the right knee with your left hand, or wrap the crease of the left elbow around the raised knee, to bring yourself into the twist. Place the right hand behind your back, and turn the gaze gently over the right shoulder.

You can either leave the left leg outstretched, or draw it back toward the hip (as pictured here).

Breathe deeply, imagining drawing the breath up and down the length of the spine — from the base of the spine up to the top of the head on the inhale, and allowing the exhale to release back down the length of the spine. Stay here for at least a few breaths, or as long as the twist feels comfortable.

To release out of the pose, bring the gaze back to center and then release the left arm. Untwist, and consider taking a counter-twist in the opposite direction to release the spine.

Then repeat on the opposite side.

This pose helps to balance not only the digestive and lymphatic systems, but also the immune, nervous, muscular, and skeletal systems. It’s balancing for all three Ayurvedic doshas (Vata, Pitta, and Kapha), and activates all five of the elements in the body (earth, water, fire, air, and ether).

Health note: it’s good to remember that detoxification may make you feel worse before you feel better. As your body is processing and getting rid of all the stuff you’re moving out, you may feel a little gross — these reactions vary from person to person.

But if you stay well hydrated and make sure to get enough rest, you’ll be back to feeling great before you know it. And you might even feel better than you have in a long time!

Let that shit go…

While January 1st may be the traditional start to our new year, the spring season is really when a lot of folks get motivated to make changes, to declare “out with the old, in with the new” — and your desire to detox may be no different.

By implementing the practices in this post, you’ll be well on your way to supporting your body systems as they do just what they’re meant to do.

So take one (or all three) of these practices and give your body a break. You deserve it!

Want to put “detox through movement” into practice? Join my online yoga mailing list and you’ll be the first to hear about new yoga classes and workshops.