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Confessions of a Wannabe World Changer – Part 2

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It’s confession time. Again.

If you recall from my original confessions post, one of the key tenets of Rebel Yogi is this: you, fellow change maker, are just as important as the work that you are doing.

I came back from the Ashram feeling so good – better than I had in recent memory – and I guess I thought that I could just charge full speed ahead again. Finishing up with teacher training meant that I had the foundation built for moving forward, and I could get back to normal.

What I forgot is that my “normal” no longer is. Add on to that, I forgot to do my own work.

And this week, my body has been reminding me of that fact. It started small: not eating quite as well as I could, not getting to bed at a reasonable hour, letting the stress of this new project start to build up, not keeping up with my physical yoga practice. The pushback started small, too. An ache here, a little bit of sluggishness in the mornings; nothing I couldn’t push through.

Now let’s stop for a moment. See what I did there? I was noticing the fact that my body was giving me signs, but I decided to ignore them, to push through. I feel like I should know better by now, but it’s just a good reminder that we’re all constantly walking this path. Sometimes we stumble along the way. Rather than letting those stumbles take us off the path, we have the opportunity to stop and pause, to reset, and to move forward again with a renewed sense of who we are and why we’re doing this – to champion our selves as we do our world changing work.

I had intended to post up something else today, but it felt like I needed to come clean and be honest about what’s going on behind the scenes. I hadn’t intended for the “Confessions” post to turn into a series, but here we are! We’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming next week. This week is all about recharging, reflecting on how to move forward, and really committing to taking care of myself along the way.

I hope that my stumbles can help serve as a reminder for everyone out there to take some time this week to do the same.

How To Overcome Stress in Only 5 Minutes Per Day

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Are you tired of being stressed and tense all the time? Well, stop what you’re doing. I’m going to give you the answer to everything, the veritable “42”.

Are you ready? You might want to sit down for this.

The answer:

Breathe.

…

And, with that, I’m out. There’s nothing else left to say. I’ve given you the secret, the key.

…

But wait! There’s more?

Truthfully (here’s where I get serious again) – there’s no better way to help your body relax than to just breathe. And by “breathe”, I’m not talking about the normal, shallow, sad excuse for a breath that we usually take. I’m talking deep, feel it all the way into your toes breathing. Just five minutes (or even less) of deep breathing can help you to relieve anxiety and bring your stress levels back under control.

The average person uses his chest muscles rather than his diaphragm when he breathes, and such breathing is usually shallow, rapid and irregular.

Though chest breathing has now become natural and involuntary for most of us, it is really a part of the fight or flight syndrome, aroused when the organism is challenged by some external stress or danger. Because of the reciprocity between the breath and mind, chest breathing, in turn, gives rise to the tension and anxiety associated with the fight or flight syndrome.”   – The Science of Breath

Yes, you read that right. Our normal style of breathing actually makes us MORE stressed, unconsciously triggering the fight or flight response. Say what?

Breathing, that thing that our body does without us even having to think about it, can either relieve stress (when utilized mindfully) or cause it. Take a second to think on that. And take a few deep breaths while you do.

Every time we take a deep breath in, we’re bringing in energy to fuel our cellular processes. The body needs food as fuel, but we also need oxygen to support healthy body function. The heart, the brain – all our systems need oxygen. We can go for up to 3 weeks without food, three or four days without water, but only for three to four minutes without oxygen. Yeah, it’s that important.

So the next time you’re feeling particularly stressed, take a minute or five to find someplace quiet (or just sit down right where you are and close your eyes) and just breathe.

Here’s how: feel the breath start deep in your abdomen, expanding through the lower ribs and into the chest, maybe even feeling like it’s going to raise the collar bones slightly. Allow the exhale to be slow and smooth, contracting the ribs as you let all that stale air out. Then, repeat as necessary.

It doesn’t get a whole lot easier than that. Breathe. Repeat. It’s as simple as being mindful of something that we automatically do over 20,000 times per day.

So what are you waiting for? I guarantee that you can spare five minutes out of your day to give this a try – five minutes a day, for the next week. Then report back. I’d love to hear what differences it makes.

Caring Sucks: Why We Shouldn’t Do It

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Yeah, you heard that right. I know what you might be thinking: she’s gone over the edge, lost it, let go of her grip on reality. But, do me a favor and stick with me.

You might not have paid attention, but there’s a definition of the word “care” in the dictionary that frightens me. To care brings us worry, anxiety, trouble, concern, stress, pressure, strain; sorrow, woe, hardship…

Let that sink in a minute.

We “care” deeply about our family and friends. We “care” deeply about our causes, the work that we are doing in the world. There’s usually a laundry list of people and things that we “care” about – did you ever imagine that you could be causing yourself harm by caring?

To go a little bit deeper into what I mean, I’m not asking you to actually stop caring. It’s just that there’s a dark underbelly to the way that we world-changers tend to go about things. When we care about something so deeply that it brings overwhelming stress and anxiety into our lives, maybe it’s time to take a step back, take a deep breath, and reexamine what we’re really trying to accomplish.

Yes, the things that you are working on are important, perhaps even life-altering. (We are world-changers, after all.) That being said, is your work more important than you?

Stop.

I know the answer that just went through your head, because it’s the same answer that I came up with as well. Take a second to think about it, though – to really think. Examine the question, and then reframe: what would be lost to the cause if you were no longer around to champion it? Imagine the world, minus the world-changers. How much more of an impact could you have if you brought a whole, happy and healthy you into the game?

Now, I want you to answer that question again: is your work more important than you?

I have a theory that we can actually increase our impact by taking a step back to care for ourselves. If one out of every 50 people is doing world-changing work, but going about it in an unsustainable way, burning out, eating poorly, getting sick often, always stressed… what kind of impression does that make to the other 49 people looking in at that person?

What if that person were to take a step back and take care of themselves, going about the same work with enthusiasm, a peaceful demeanor, good health and a positive outlook? My bet is that far more of those 49 onlookers would be willing to give that lifestyle a try versus the alternative example.

So here’s my challenge to you: quit caring. At least quit the kind of caring that makes you fifteen different kinds of stressed, and replace it with the kind of caring that allows you to provide what is necessary for your health and happiness as you go about making a difference in the world.

This is the basis of what I’m looking to bring into the world with Rebel Yogi – the good kind of caring. Do you have thoughts, comments, counter points? Let’s discuss!

Reflections Along the Path – Week 4

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This is the last post of a four week series. Here’s week 1, week 2 and week 3 in case you missed them.

—

Well hello there. The last time I saw you around these parts, things were quite different. My little family of ten TTs (teacher trainees) are now just Ts (teachers), all grown up and graduated, and all headed back to our respective parts of the world.

I’ve been struggling a bit with what to write for this wrap-up post. There’s so much to say, but it feels like most of it isn’t ready to see the light of day yet – so many experiences that will take some time to process and contextualize.

On Saturday during our graduation ceremony, we watched a graduation speech that Swami Satchidananda gave in the early 1990s. He talked about the new graduates being like cows (stick with me here, I promise it makes sense): we spend the 4 weeks of our teacher training “grazing” and taking in all this information, with no time to process it. Then, we go home and start burping up the information – this is where we get a chance to really chew on it, to take the good pieces and spit out any sticks we picked up along the way, and turn it into the really valuable material that ends up being fully digested and nourishes us as we move forward. Just FYI, he also does a really spot-on cow impression.

I think that this is another opportunity for me to live my work, because I want to have all the answers right now, and I want to be able to come charging out of the gates with my game plan in place and everything figured out. Alas, as tends to happen, I’m still sitting here just starting to burp up the information that needs to be chewed on. Message received, universe.

I have some ideas about where Rebel Yogi will go, but I also came to the realization while I was soaking in the yogic lifestyle that all the best things come without force. I can’t control what’s going to happen, so for now I’m (figuratively) sitting on my hands and trying my best to have patience as the pieces start to come together.

I’m feeling like next week’s post is going to explore the possibilities ahead, and ask for your feedback for the first time – so start thinking about it, if you would. I’m doing this for you, for us, for our amazing community of people who are out there on a daily basis making the world a better place. So, how can I support you? What kind of projects and programs will be the most helpful for you? What can I offer to make your life and your work better?

More to come on that, but for now I’ll leave you with the only quote that made it to the Facebook page last week. It really sums up most of my experience at the Ashram, and I’ve been mulling over what it means for me. As such, it seems fitting to close with it:

Yoga is over 4000 years old but it may be new to you. It is a scientific system that makes you the master of your senses. Yoga is not a religion, yet it embraces all religions. Yoga will introduce you to someone you might not know – your Self.”
-Swami Satchidananda

Changemaker Q&A is taking a break until I get in touch with the next batch of awesome people – but that gives you time to catch up on the three that have already posted up if you haven’t read them yet: Amy Clover, Dave Ursillo, and Andrea Bailey!

Ever yours in yoga.

Reflections Along the Path – Week 3

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This is week three of a four week series. Here’s week 1 and week 2 in case you missed them, and also week 4.

—

How can three weeks fly by so quickly?

We started practice teaching the full class at the beginning of the week, and have our qualifying exams starting on Thursday (tomorrow, by the time this post goes live). Graduation is on Saturday, and then Sunday we’re out of here. I’ll admit that I got a little teary-eyed this morning reading the schedule for this week. I can’t believe that it’s almost over.

My major victory this week was finally breaking the no sleep cycle. After 19 nights of tossing and turning, Friday night supplied almost 6 hours of sleep – never in my life have I been so grateful for that short an amount of sleep. It felt like a vast ocean of sleep in comparison. And, last night I packed in eight and a half!

Not sleeping taught me a lot: where my breaking points are, how much inner strength I have, and how tolerant I am. Most of this information was surprising to me. Chalk it up to how much this experience is teaching me in general.

You know how I mentioned in previous posts here that it’s not just about the asanas? Well, turns out it’s also not just learning how to teach yoga, or learning about the other 7 limbs of yoga. I think for all of us, it’s been about learning about ourselves – digging deep into the stuff we’re made of, seeing what’s strong enough to stay, and watching the rest fade away as we move on toward the horizon.

The past couple of weeks have been highly emotionally charged. In fact, when I sat down to write last week’s post, I didn’t want to write. Everything felt too raw, and I held back a lot of what was bubbling just under the surface because I was afraid of letting it out. I was scared that if I opened it up for a few drops to come out, the entire ocean would come ripping along behind it, washing me away in the process.

One of our teachers told us that the second week was when our baggage would finally arrive. The first week is usually all fun and excitement, getting settled in and starting to navigate the waters. Then,BOOM! Everything that you thought you had left behind would catch up, bowling you over in the process.

If I come away from this program with nothing else, I have started to see how much brighter things look when you let go of the things you can’t control. Swami Satchidananda talks a lot about the best yogis being surfers – riding the waves and staying above the violent roll of the ups and downs in life, not getting so attached to trying to control every little thing.

Anyone who knows me knows that there’s a deep rooted type-A personality inside, complete with OCD tendencies and a really strong will. A lot of my work here has been about trusting in the process; learning to be comfortable with putting as many pieces in place as I can and then trusting that things will go the way they’re going to go; “doing my best and leaving the rest” (another Swami S quote).

One of the hardest things about taking these four weeks away was letting progress on Rebel Yogi be put on pause. I know that technically it’s not the case, and this training is absolutely one of the biggest foundational pieces, but it still feels like I’m letting this time slip away. It’s also the fact that I don’t know quite what things are going to look like when I get done and head back to Portland.

There’s also a lot in my personal life that’s up in the air again this coming summer, but being here has really allowed me to be okay with the uncertainty (or, let’s be honest, at least more okay with it than I would have been previously).

For the time being, it’s back to studying and prepping for this last week. I’ll see you on the flip side – I’ll be writing my final ashram post next week!

I’ll leave you with the thoughts of the week from the RY Facebook page:

By the nature of which you no longer fit into the collective paradigm (including families, workplaces, old friends or social circles you used to belong to) is the measure by which you have individuated and are fitting more truly to your authentic Self. That Self will always be vaster than your circumstances, your appearance, what you do for a living and by which you define yourself, your sense of worth or need for whatever worldly accomplishment. That Self knows no measuring, has no particular destination, it is just expanding into being and will take as much space within yourself, as you are consciously ready to make room for it. Every time you find yourself wondering why you feel like an outsider, remember that it is the sure sign that you are aligning to the right direction of your inner compass. You do not need to separate or even adhere to this misconstrued idea. All you have to do is include more of the true you into you and within you. Freedom is not about having the privilege of doing what we want, it is having less and less need to be defined and validated outside of ourselves by others. The less separate we are from our authentic self, creating union of the self with the self, the more at one we are with the world and the infinite.”  -Isabelle Pierre-Emile

“The world around us is a reflection of our collective thoughts and actions. When we change, that change ripples out from us. You can make a difference. We can make a difference.”

“Love is a verb, not a noun.” -Mother Teresa

And, an Italian chihuahua doing yoga. You’re welcome.

Changemaker Q&A is taking a break until I’m back from the ashram – but that gives you time to catch up on the three that have already posted up if you haven’t read them yet: Amy Clover, Dave Ursillo, and Andrea Bailey!

Ever yours in yoga.

Reflections Along the Path – Week 2

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This is week two of a four week series. Here’s week 1 in case you missed it, and week 3 & week 4.

—

It’s the end of week two, and I find myself at a loss for words.

I flit between wanting to be here forever, and wanting to be home. Between thinking I’ve found the perfect path, to wondering what the hell I’m doing here.

Our little group has become a family, and the Ashram community an extended circle of friends. We’re learning so much, from such amazing teachers. The Swamis are these bundles of intense light, joy and wisdom – and we get to tap into that on a daily basis.

The Swami who teaches our Raja Yoga class (yoga philosophy) tells us hilarious illustrative stories when we don’t quite grasp what she’s trying to teach us, and she even had us doing skits this week. Our group may or may not have done one on our attachment (and subsequent non-attachment) to guacamole. Just saying.

It’s been an emotional week. I did my first ever Sarvangasana (shoulder stand) last Monday, and proceeded to have an emotional break, and then a migraine the following day. So much transformational energy and shedding of the things that no longer serve us – remember how I said that I thought I had shed so much already in the past few years, and my journey across the country last summer? Yeah – apparently there’s still more left to let go of.

One of the things that keeps my feet under me is the alignment of my goals for Rebel Yogi and the things that we’re learning here. It’s not just the asanas. In fact, it’s so NOT about the asanas at all. It’s all about loving ourselves, taking care of this body we’re gallivanting about in, so that we can better go out into the world to kick ass, take names and shake up the status quo.

Thanks for following along, for being a part of this continuing transformation. I’m still not sure what life or Rebel Yogi will look like when I get back, but I have this feeling that we’re in for an amazing ride.

Like last week, I’ll leave you with the daily reflections from this past week:

You must eat to have enough energy to serve others. Even the practice of meditation is not done just for your own peace but is done because with a peaceful mind you can go out into the world and serve well.” –Yoga Sutras 1.15, commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda

“Did you know that the heart feeds itself freshly oxygenated blood first, so it can then feed the rest of the body?”

“I have no time to be in a hurry.”

“Your body is a product of the past; your mind spins between the past, present and future; but the breath is always in the moment.”

“1000 steps after dinner puts the pharmaceutical companies out of business.”

“Nature will not let us stay in any one place for too long. She will let us stay just long enough to gather the experience necessary to the unfolding and advancement of the soul. This is a wise provision, for should we stay there too long, we would become too set, too rigid, too inflexible. Nature demands change in order that we may advance.” –Ernest Holmes

There won’t be a Changemaker Q&A this week – but that gives you time to catch up on the three that have already posted up if you haven’t read them yet: Amy Clover, Dave Ursillo and Andrea Bailey!

Ever yours in yoga.