Transforming Business

Admit it: you clicked through to read this post because you’re both 1) giddily excited to see all the bad things that other people are doing and 2) worried that you’re secretly doing all those things yourself.

And here’s the truth: we’re all doing these things. At least some of the time. Usually, you intellectually know better. But sometimes you don’t even notice that they’re happening.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So let’s name these little lies, so you can start to kick them to the curb.

Ready?

Let’s go.

1. I’m not really that stressed. Well, not all the time…

This little lie is easy to believe. Because stress (especially when we reach the point of chronic stress) is really good at fading into the background. It’s insidious. Before you know it, you don’t even notice when you’re stressed.

When I came out the end of several years of chronic stress (due to high pressure work environments, pushing myself too hard on too many projects at a time, on and on) it took me months to get back to a less-stressed state of being.

And it wasn’t until I was completely separate from the constant stressors that I was able to recognize how my body felt when I was under stress.

The constant tension in my abdomen, the twitching under one of my eyes, the buzz of nonstop adrenaline — it all became “normal” after a while.

When you create an environment where totally stressed out is the new normal, something’s gotta give.

2. I’m too busy too exercise today. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Alright. Truth time!

Hands up: how many times do you actually exercise when tomorrow rolls around?

It’s okay. I’ll wait…

Mmhmm. That’s what I thought.

This is just another convenient excuse to push until tomorrow what we don’t want to do today. (And tomorrow becomes tomorrow becomes tomorrow…)

I’ll be honest with you: I hate the gym. You would have to pay me a lot of money to enjoy spending time there. (And it would probably just mean that I was getting paid to pretend like I didn’t hate it.)

For a long time, I tried to force myself to go. For all the reasons, I sucked it up — and hated every single second.

Until the day I realized that I don’t have to go to the gym to get exercise. That was a good day.

The day that I finally admitted that I could do yoga, go hiking, take the dogs for a walk, ride my bike… that I could get exercise while doing things that I actually (gasp) enjoyed.

So instead of lying to yourself and saying you’ll go to the gym tomorrow, what if you could find some kind of movement that you actually enjoyed, so you can quit making excuses?

3. I don’t have time to sit down and meditate today.

This one slays me.

My rational brain understands that the days where I take even five or ten minutes to sit quietly and meditate equates to a much more productive day, like 99 percent of the time. I’m more focused. I work more efficiently. I react less to any stressors that pop up. Insert a long list of positive benefits here.

But…

How many days do I look at my schedule for the day and think, “I literally do not have five minutes to sit quietly. There’s too much to do, so I need to get started right away.”

See this? This is my palm. Smacking myself in the forehead.

#facepalm

Seriously?

4. I’m a hustling, groundbreaking badass. I’ll sleep when I’m dead!

I’m actually living a really good example of this one recently.

Starting point: didn’t sleep well one night last week.

I’ll award myself points for sleeping in a little bit the next morning.

But, take away points because I literally sat at my desk later that day and thought, “man. I’m really tired. I wish I could take a nap.”

Which was immediately followed by my brain going, “nope! You’re too busy. You have to finish this blog post. #alltheexcuses”

Because a 30 minute nap is going to derail my entire week. Riiight…

5. Food is complicated. I’ll just stuff something quick in my facehole.

This little lie has been a struggle off and on for me for much, much longer than I care to admit.

There are a number of variations on the excuses I use to not fuel my body properly:

• I’m too busy to cook. I’ll just grab something fast. (Which usually means processed, and not that great for me.)
• Too many decisions. Too complicated. Too [insert your excuse here.] I’ll just skip this meal.
• I don’t feel good and/or I feel better when I don’t eat. Therefore, I just won’t eat. (Side note: there’s a lot more to unpack here, just not in today’s post. If you’re struggling with an eating disorder, reach out to someone for help. Please. I did, and I’ll always be grateful for the guidance I received.)
• Wait. Someone is telling me to eat X, but I just heard someone else say that X is the worst food you can possibly eat. Why are there all these rules?
• All these rules make me HANGRY!

It’s a little harder to poke fun at myself about this one, because food can be a really complicated issue for lots of folks, myself included.

Let’s just leave it at this: can you find a way to eat that makes you happy, keeps you properly nourished, and doesn’t involve hours of prep and cleanup? Do that.

Fuck what anyone else tells you to do. They don’t have to live in your body. You do, so you get to make the rules.

6. Hiking and stuff is fun, I guess. But who has time for fun?

There’s a broad spectrum of how we as humans feel about getting out into nature.

Example 1:
“Nature? Eww. It’s cold and wet out there. And there’s dirt. No thanks. I’ll just stay inside.”

Example 2:
“Everyone should forego electricity and go live in a mud hut and eat bugs for sustenance. Mother nature rules!”

Example 3:
Somewhere in the middle. Which – in my experience – is where most of the rest of us fall.

Thing is, you can easily get so focused on the hustle that you forget to have fun. You spend your days (and nights, and weekends) glued to your screen. And sometimes the only fresh air you get is walking between your house and your car.

And that’s not cool.

Those times when I realize that my skin has not touched outside air for days… that’s a sign that something is seriously off.

7. No rest for the wicked. Once I push through this last {    }, then I can take a break.

Fill in that blank with whatever project, task, or thing is currently sitting at the top of your to do list.

Entrepreneurs are really good at having a revolving door of projects going on. Which usually means there’s always an excuse to keep going.

I think I’ve been telling myself this little white lie for… oh… something like five years now. Admittedly, I do occasionally take a break and step away from the computer (sometimes even for extended periods at a time), but there’s always the draw of some pressing task that tempts me away from self care.

For example, I’ve been in launch mode since getting back from Mexico in January. While it’s been tempting to push through and work on either the new program or the launch every single day of the week, I’ve made it a point to turn off my laptop on Saturdays.

At least most Saturdays…

8. I have to do this all by myself. I’m all alone! Woe is me.

This one is a doozy. I find myself caught up in this little lie all the time.

Two recent examples:

As I’ve been working on the new program, I’ve run into tasks that felt like I stepped into tar and couldn’t get my feet out. I would struggle with a piece of content (say, the high level executive summary) for about a week.

I finally sat down with my coach / co-conspirator and together we managed to get it moving again during a single session. Same goes for the high level program outline. Stuck for over a week working on it by myself — sat down together, and came away with an outline in about 30 minutes.

So why the heck do we flail and struggle all by ourselves, when we could just ask for help?

Because being vulnerable and admitting that we need help isn’t exactly built into the entrepreneurial world or mindset.

Next time you’re caught in a loop of all-alone and struggling, reach out to someone. Brain bump. Or just sit down and talk things through with someone you trust.

I’ll bet it helps you push through that blockage in no time at all.

9. I have to be productive. Therefor I must stay constantly glued to my screen.

I may have gone off on a little rant about this one on Instagram recently…

There’s apparently now a shower curtain that has all these little pockets in it so you can still use your devices while you’re in the shower…

Wait. What?!

You can now text, watch Netflix, check your email… while you’re in the shower.

Here’s what I wrote shortly after discovering that little gem:

Are you f**cking kidding me?

See… this right here is why there’s an entire module dedicated to our relationship with technology in my new program. Because we apparently can’t even take a shower anymore without being connected to our devices. Seriously?

I get the utility — really, I do. And I can see situations where it could be helpful. For example, you get a brilliant idea in the shower and don’t want to forget it… but I would counter: there are these really cool things called diving slates. I’ve got one in my shower, and it’s one of the greatest investments I ever made (a whopping $12).

So what happens if you NEVER give your face a break from a glowing blue screen (it’s in bed with you, in the shower with you, disrupting conversations, etc on and on)?

Expecting to produce groundbreaking original thought from a brain full of other people’s content? Good luck with that.

Let’s take a good hard look at how we use tech – and bring it into our lives in a way that supports our work, our thinking. Tech as tools, not distraction.”

10. My external environment has no impact on how well I do my work.

I once had a boss who yelled at me because I kept my desk “too clean.” No joke.

She was pissed because she thought I was wasting time keeping things organized. While her system of stacks of paperwork all over her desk might have worked for her (somehow I doubt it), I know that I do better work when I can find things.

I get stressed out if my desk is a mess. If there are dirty dishes in the sink. If there are piles of laundry that need to be folded. If the house needs to be cleaned because the clouds of dog hair are getting as big as the dogs…

I do not work in a bubble. I function as part of a larger ecosystem, and as much as it might be nice to be able to ignore the fact that sometimes it’s harder to get motivated on a cloudy, rainy day in the middle of winter, it’s a fact.

Rather than fighting against your external environments (your desk, your house, the weather, the time of year), how can you work with those factors to do your best work?

11. I can constantly shove whatever crap I want into my brain. No biggie.

To continue with a theme, your brain can only take so much input.

When you’re continually putting information into your brain – via your ears and our eyes, as well as your other senses – you don’t give yourself a chance to fully process any of it.

Much like your digestive system, which needs time to take the food you consume and turn it into energy for the body, your brain needs time and space to process what you’re putting in through the inputs. 

Similarly, your digestive system likely also responds better to healthy foods than it does to greasy fast food. So paying attention to the quality of the things you’re taking into your brain is as important as the quantity.

For example, I have different modes of music that I listen to depending on what I’m working on. I have different playlists for different tasks. Some with lyrics, most without.

If I tried to write while listening to really loud music with lots of lyrics, I would be completely distracted. Instead, I choose music that will either fade into the background, or support the vibe that I’m working with.

Either way, I’m using external inputs to support the work I’m doing — not to distract me and clog up my brain.

12. I’m clear on my priorities, and what I need to do to reach my goals.

You’re talking with a colleague about your business or your current project, and in the course of the discussion, they start asking the tough questions. And maybe you feel like you kind of know the answers, but it’s really hard to articulate, and, and…

What are those goals and priorities, they may ask?

And you answer, “Well… um… I need to check my notes.”

Any time you find yourself in the position where having a discussion with someone about what you’re working on becomes painful or embarrassing, chances are that you could use a little more clarity around what you’re doing.

Probably not around the small day to day details (but maybe those, too). But definitely around the big picture. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in the go-go-go and forget about the bigger why that drives your work.

If you want to change the world, you have to stay rooted in your why. To be clear on where you’re headed, and how you’re getting there.

13. I want to do this, it’s so cool. But I can’t because X, Y, and Z.

How often do you look at something and it piques your interest – it looks like it’s something you would really enjoy doing – but then your brain starts making one hundred and one excuses about why you can’t do it?

• I don’t have enough time.
• It’s too expensive.
• What would my friends or family think?
• This is selfish.
• I “should” really be doing A, B, or C instead.

This is obviously not a comprehensive list of excuses — that list could make up an entire post all by itself. But it gives you the idea of all the barriers you might be putting in your own way.

Instead of constantly coming up with excuses why you can’t do something, what if you started making a list of the reasons you can?

What if you told the truth instead?

Instead of secretly (or not so secretly) making life harder for yourself, what if you could let go of some of these little lies? What if you could start being honest with yourself, and lay a foundation that supports your worldchanging work?

You want to do big, amazing things and bring your vision to life in a way that benefits the world. How about giving yourself the chance to foster a business that’s not stifled by the status quo, and let go of whatever isn’t working?

My new program, MindFULL to Mindful: A Guided Journey to a Balanced Modern Life is closed for this round, but it will run again this fall. Sign up for the interest list to hear when the doors open up again.

Join me, and together we can help you take the first steps toward turning these little lies into truth, so you can live the life you dream of — and have the positive impact you crave.